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Spurs boss Pochettino in shock Mr Bean rant

EnglandTottenham Hotspur

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Guardiola and Klopp “will meet after Saturday match” to discuss Pep Show sitcom idea

LiverpoolManchester City

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Piegate blown wide open as ‘second pie’ claims surface

ArsenalSutton United

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“We won’t be drawn into childish name-calling,” roar Dildo Brothers

Sporting LisbonWest Ham United

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BBC on lookout for new squawky-voiced man to shout “oh, what a goal!”

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Public urged to stay outdoors for remainder of international break

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England players ask to work from home for the 2018 World Cup

England

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Marcus Rashford’s England eligibility called into question after spirited display

EnglandManchester United

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“We’re technically on course to win the World Cup,” crows triumphant Southgate

England

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ARSENAL ROYAL RUMBLE LATEST: Granit Xhaka KO’s Senderos with metal fold-up chair

Arsenal