West Ham United owners the Dildo Brothers will not be drawn into an exchange of shoolboy insults, the pair told Sporting Lisbon president Bruno de Carvalho.

In an unlikely bust-up, West Ham and Sporting fell out in a row over midfielder William Carvalho, making it a bizarre plural affair of Davids Gold and Sullivan against Carvalhos William and Bruno de.

And the Dildo Brothers refuse to be drawn into petty name-calling after the Sporting chairman appeared to label them ‘offended virgins’.

The panto lion looking Dildo Brother said: “He called us what? That’s outrageous.

“But we’re classy guys so we won’t lower ourselves to their level. Let him make a fool of himself while we focus on getting West Ham into the Champions League.

“One thing’s for sure, the Dildo Brothers’ good name will not be tarnished by this loose cannon.”