Concerns have been raised about Marcus Rashford after his spirited performance in an England shirt versus Slovakia.
Despite making a costly early error, the striker left onlookers stunned by proceeding to not go into his shell and disappear for the rest of the match.
This was felt by some to be so contrary to the ‘English way’ that his eligibility for the team has been called into question.
An urgent DNA test has been requested and he will be asked to complete a mandatory penalty shoot-out assessment.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, an England spokesperson said: “The attitude, talent and game-changing ability shown by Marcus last night was concerning of course.
“Tests have been ordered and we will consult Donald Trump for tips on launching a divisive and high-profile birther campaign.
“However, if he does turn out to be English, we will of course prepare the physio suite for the inevitable pre-world cup metatarsal injury.”