Stare with wide-eyed incredulity as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his Chelsea v West Ham score prediction for Monday, including goal-scorers and his own mixed-up musings…

This one has all the ingredients of a titonic tossil! Can Anthony O’Conte get off to the proverbial flying one against Bernie Slaven’s Hummers?

He won’t have to go too far to better last season’s 10th place finish, which even now still feels incredibubble.

Obviously I knew it would happen, mind – I am after all both mystic and Megsonic.

As for West Ham, they’ve managed to retain the cervixes of that man Dimitar Poyet, so I expect them to be no pullovers again this season.

I forssell a narrow home win here, but it’ll be a tight ink counter.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Chelsea v West Ham United score prediction for Monday August 15th 2016 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Chelsea 1-0 West Ham
Aidan Hazard with the divisive strike.