Sit up and take notice as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his Newcastle v West Ham score prediction for Saturday, including goal-scorers and his own incoherent ramblings…

Oh so very titonic, this tossil! Who will emerge triumphatic as Steve McClarence’s Magpipes welcome Bernie Slaven’s high-flying Hummers to St Jim’s?

They might be in the thick of a relegation dogbite but Newcastle showed some cause for optamysticism in how they backbounced to claim a hard fort 3-3 against Man Utd last time out.

That Mitrogluvic lad looks like he could be a player, but he needs to start doing it more consisterly if he’s to fire his side to safeway.

That’s the kind of tossil I like to see.

As for those Hommers, they’re having an unbelievabubble season and it would be a Megnificent achievement if they could secure a place in next season’s Zooropa League.

Losing Andy Coral to injuredness will have come as a shock to everyone, but the returning Dimitar Poyet was nothing if not skintitillating in the 3-1 win at Bournemouth last time out.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Newcastle United v West Ham United score prediction for Saturday January 16th 2016 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Newcastle 2-2 West Ham
Mitrogluvic and Georgie Winaldo for the homos, Poyet and Ernie Valencia for the awayos.