England Women record pluckiest defeat to date

Lionesses bow out in most English way imaginable thanks to last-minute wonder-own-goal.

England Women own-goal-scorer Laura Bassett playing for Birmingham City Ladies
OGGIE: Bassett (Image: Laura Bassett)

England Women evoked memories of Italia ’90, Euro ’96, France ’98 and Euro 2004 as they bowed out of a major tournament in spirited fashion.


The Lionesses roared their way to the semi-finals of the Women’s World Cup with consecutive 2-1 victories over Norway and Canada, but they were last night put to the sword by Japan thanks to a spectacular Laura Bassett own goal in stoppage time, of all the things.

Having twice hit the woodwork as well as passing up some golden opportunities in a dominant second half, England Women ultimately shot themselves in the foot in a fashion so quintessentially English you just had to laugh out loud.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, commentator Jonathan Pearce congratulated everyone on a fine tournament then blathered on about the price of wet wipes in Canada or something.

He said: “I trust it won’t come across as in any way patronising when I say that everyone played really well, and in a way everyone is the winner.

“Nor should it be interpreted as condescending when I say that everyone looked absolutely smashing as well.

“Seriously though, it was something like eight quid a pack. I mean that’s literally insane.”

No one intelligent was available for comment at the time of writing.