📰

England reach World Cup quarter finals unnoticed

Satirical football website finally gets too preachy.

A Lucy Bronze screamer against Norway booked England's place in the World Cup quarter finals
GOLDEN: Bronze (Image: James Boyes)

England have reached the quarter finals of the World Cup and no one gives a rat’s ass, seemingly.

The nation, British, take on Canada this Sunday for a place in the last four of the World Cup, a real and actual World Cup that’s going on right now, it has been reported.

A late Lucy Bronze screamer put the seal on a thrilling comeback as England beat Norway 2-1 last time out, and by now you’ll have clocked that we’re trying to make some kind of point by having thus far omitted the word ‘Women’.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Football Burp poured scorn on accusations that Football Burp has gotten too preachy.

It said: “The very suggestion is laughable, but that’s for another think-piece.

“Anyway it’s true, why shouldn’t the nation be in thrall at England getting to the World Cup quarter finals, women or otherwise?

“The sheer hysteria if the men did it would be off the scale, and yes that was a deliberate anti-heteronormatisation.

“Just think about it: Wayne Rooney and co. in the last 8 against Canada, bloody Canada, although thinking on I suppose their women’s team must be a lot better than their men’s team.

“Bit like ours. Arf!”

More: Canada Women England Women