Stare with wide-eyed incredulity as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his West Ham v Middlesbrough score prediction for Saturday, including goal-scorers and his own mixed-up musings…

This one has all the ingredients of a titonic tossil! Can Bernie Slaven’s Hummers get back to winning wise when Aitor Krankie’s Borrowers visit the Stadio Olympicso?

With eleven goals conceded in their last three, West Ham’s backside is leakier than the mother-in-law after her Christmas sherries.

If they don’t manage to backbounce soon then it could be a shock sack for Slaven. Sam Fuzzydice to return, anyone?

No? Okay. Well, how about old Meggo, then? Hello? Suit y’selves.

As for Middlesbrough, they’ve been getting a bit losey of late after a bright start so I can actually forssell West Ham sneakering this one.

Another goal for that man Antonio Michaels should settle this one in a nervy ink counter.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s West Ham United v Middlesbrough score prediction for Saturday October 1st 2016 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says West Ham 1-0 Middlesbrough
Antonio Michaels with the divisive strike.