Pray silence please as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his Chelsea v Stoke score prediction for Saturday, including goal-scorers and his own insightful analysis…

What a titonic tossil we have in shop here! Who will emerge triumphatic as Hark Muse returns to his old pomping ground of Stambord Fridge?

Gus Hoodwink’s Chelsea have put quite the runs together of late, and all of a sudden they’re back in the half-top and claiming a strong steak for a Zooropa League spot.

They’re still point three off the Potties, mind – yes, Stoke are pretting sitty in 7th and unbelievabubbly are only point 5 off the four-tops.

This should be a skintitillating ink counter, and believe you me I don’t say that brightly.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Chelsea v Stoke City score prediction for Saturday March 5th 2016 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Chelsea 2-1 Stoke
Aidan Hazard and Roic Lemmy for the homos, Mark O'Nowtovic for the awayos.