England now so boring it’s exciting, survey shows

Now enthralling to see if Three Lions can sustain twenty-year tedium, new study reveals.

These Three Lions were enthralled by Slovenia 0-0 England
Two of these three lions couldn’t look away (Image: Joachim Huber)

England are now so boring it’s become exciting to see if they can sustain it, according to a new study.

A 0-0 draw in Slovenia was sufficient to maintain the Three Lions’ record of stultifying showings, which now date almost unbroken back to 1996.

The phenomenon of their sheer tedium becoming enthralling has been compared to naff fashion trends suddenly becoming all the rage decades later.

In retro gaming circles, it has been compared to going all the way to one side of the screen on Mario Bros 2 and emerging from the other.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Steve, an England fan from Wellingborough, explained why he suddenly finds himself on tenterhooks.

He said: “It’s a bit like watching someone balance a plate on their head.

“By which I mean it’s boring for the first twenty years or so, then it suddenly dawns on you that you’re witnessing something truly remarkable.

“England’s ability to remain uninspiring throughout three or four different generations of highly talented players should not be underestimated.

“Give it another few years and we’ll all be immensely proud of it.”