West Ham United will face questioning as to why the two-week international break has coincided with nationwide sightings of clowns.
Slaven Bilić’s Hammers appear to be the main suspects, with their only two non-clown players – Dimitri Payet and Michail Antonio – away with France and England respectively.
While any official investigation is yet to be launched, West Ham owners David Sullivan and David Gold have been informally contacted regarding the whereabouts of their players.
Police have been inundated with reports of threatening-looking clowns across the UK, but Sullivan and Gold insist there’s no connection.
They chorused: “Our clowns aren’t even remotely threatening, we can assure you.
“A quick glance at the Premier League should tell you all you need to know.
“If you do see one of our clowns wondering aimlessly around, chances are you’re a season ticket holder.
“But a threatening clown? That only half-describes Simone Zaza.”