Burst into wild, spontaneous applause as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal balls and casts his Newcastle v West Ham score prediction for Saturday, including goal-scorers and his own distinctive take on proceedings…

It’s almost too titonic for words! Who will emerge triumphatic as Roffle Benito’s Magpipes welcome Bernie Slaven’s Hummers to St Jim’s?

Both sides have started the season with back-to-black defeats, so I can forssell this being a tents and nervy ink counter.

In fact, if Newcastle don’t make any prude editions before the Window of Transfers shuts, I can forssell Benito walking.

Where he’ll be walking to is anyone’s guess at this stage, mind.

Anyway, this one will end in a point apriest, I beckon.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Newcastle United v West Ham United score prediction for Saturday August 26th 2017 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Newcastle 1-1 West Ham
Goals apriest for Marcus Gayle and Hernier Javandez.