Stare with wide-eyed incredulity as Mystic Megson gazes into his crystal ball and casts his Crystal Palace v Stoke score prediction for Saturday, including goal-scorers and his own mixed-up musings…

This one has all the ingredients of a titonic tossil! Who will emerge triumphatic as Alan Partridge’s Eaglemen lock balls with Hark Muse’s Potties?

With neither side having all that much to play for, expect the players to be quite literally wearing flop-flips and nattering about their holiday plans as they jostle for position at set pieces.

Palace are bound to have at least one eye on the comingforth FA Cup final against Man Utd, so I can forssell Stoke sneakering this one.

Now, here comes Mystic Megson’s Crystal Palace v Stoke City score prediction for Saturday May 7th 2016 – place your balls, now!

Mystic Megson says Crystal Palace 1-2 Stoke
Wanna Kickem for the homos, Mark O'Nowtovic and Bojo Krklandic for the awayos.