Tweety Camera: Ferdinand, Lennon, Parrett, Craddock, Lalas, Ibrahimovic

Tweety Camera's Twits of the Week: Ferdinand, Lennon, Parrett, Craddock, Lalas, IbrahimovicHello everyone! I’m former Liverpool and West Ham United forward Tweety Camera, and I’m a right nosy so-and-so.

All day every day, you can be sure that I’ll be scouring Twitter, sniffing out the very best of my fellow professionals’ musings like I used to sniff out goal-scoring chances, and presenting them for your delectation with the kind of ruthless efficiency that saw me net 23 times in 38 games for my native Guinea. I do so hope that you enjoy this week’s selections…

Disclaimer: The views expressed by the following Twits do not necessarily reflect my own – signed Tweety Camera, formerly of Liverpool and West Ham United

Hello everyone! What are you all up to?

In the queue for a travel card on the london underground + a guy gave me his 1 that he was no longer using…. Thanks fella! #touch

— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) October 25, 2012

LOL! Those are non-transferable, Rio! LOL!

Seriously though, you’re not meant to do that. This is just like the time you…er, nevermind.

Where were you going on London Underground, Rio?


That is twice in 3 days Efe has given me the heebie jeebies #dontforgetpassport

— Neil Lennon (@OfficialNeil) October 22, 2012

LOL! Hi, Neil! I once forgot my passport for a UEFA Cup trip during my Liverpool days, it was a nightmare. LOL!

Well actually they sent someone to go and get it and they were able to get everyone on the next flight, so apart from Karl-Heinz Riedle calling me a “dipstick” I think it all worked out okay in the end.

I’ll never forget that flight – I made Frode Kippe laugh so hard that he snorted butter out of his nose. Seriously, butter, I’m not even kidding.


It was actually quite scary at the time.

To the old man stuck in traffic next to me with the perfectly curled moustache. You are smashing life.

— Euan Holden (@EuanHolden) October 24, 2012

LOL! Are you doing November? I’m thinking of doing November. Sometimes I look back on my famous winner at Highbury…

…yes, that one…

…and I think that – LOL! – ahem, excuse me – the only thing that could have made it better would be if I’d had a moustache to twiddle mock-deviously, as if I’d both stopped the pigeon and eaten it too.

I don’t really eat pigeons. LOL! Imagine. What do you think about the Sco…

Got asked another cracker at todays press conf…this time about Scottish referendum #justthefootballplease

— Neil Lennon (@OfficialNeil) October 22, 2012

…erm…nevermind. How are your family doing, Bristol City midfielder Jody Morris?

Have I missed something ere…my ten year old daughter says she needs shin pads and my four year old boy wants his nails cut!!

— jody morris (@morriskid) October 25, 2012

LOL! Kids!

Funnily enough I used to cut my nails with shin pads – I’d pre-warm the nails by the radiator for half an hour or so, then mash them with a shin pad in a manner akin to crushing garlic. This made Michael Carrick throw up one time so Harry Redknapp asked me to stop.

Do you think that’s weird?

I always look at the time when its 11:11. That’s weird!!!

— Josh McEachran (@JMcEachran20) October 23, 2012

You’re right, Josh, that is weirder. Thanks for making me feel better.

Let’s go live to Alexi Lalas!

Hulk just hulked in #ZENvAND. Ref says, “there will be no hulking.”

— Alexi Lalas (@AlexiLalas) October 24, 2012

LOL! You’re mad, Alexi Lalas! Not quite as mad as the dress sense of Spurs starlet Deano Parrett, though, at least if his team mate Andros Townsend’s photographic submission is anything to go by…

Some1 have a word with this lost kid @deano_parrett19wearin shoes with a tracksuit is not the swag yfrog.com/h7r8smhhj

— andros townsend(@andros_townsend) October 24, 2012

LOLOLOL!!! You could get removed from your role as sports minister of your native Guinea for something like that, Deano!

For the record, this was not the reason behind my recent removal. Their reasoning was a bit blurred by the end, but I’m pretty sure it all started when I took a week off to watch all of Breaking Bad so far. They said it was “taking the piss”.

Actually think my dog is taking the piss! #RunningTheShow twitter.com/hucks6dh6/stat…

— Darren Huckerby (@hucks6dh6) October 28, 2012

LOL! I can confirm he is, Darren. Look at the screen, I’m pretty sure that’s Walter and Jesse in the meth lab.

Wait a minute, Leicester City midfielder Neil Danns is on the other line…

What to eat what to eat

— neil danns (@dannzy1) October 24, 2012

Ooh…good question, Neil. Give me a choice of two.

Salmon or chicken

— neil danns (@dannzy1) October 24, 2012

Salmon. No, chicken. Definitely chicken. No – salmon! Yes, salmon.

I’m sticking with salmon.

No. Wait.


Chicken is winning lol

— neil danns (@dannzy1) October 24, 2012

Salmon! Oh, I don’t know, Neil. Either way, you should go round to Danny Graham’s for dessert…

Someone sent all this to @thekey16 to give to me #thankyouwhoeversentthem

— Danny Graham (@DannyGraham10) October 24, 2012


— Danny Graham (@DannyGraham10) October 24, 2012

Now that to me is art, Danny! What kind of art do you like, Gaizka?

I saw this and I thought it’s very clever…brilliant!!! Don’t you? #StreetArt twitter.com/GaizkaMendieta…

— Gaizka Mendieta (@GaizkaMendieta6) October 25, 2012

That’s a Banksy, I think. I don’t like Banksy, although that’s more to do with my fear of graffiti than any kind of critique of his work. It just always takes me surprise, gives me such a fright before I realise it’s just sprayed on.

There have been occasions where I’ve run, and occasions where I’ve attacked. It’s funny how you do different things at different times. How’s your art going, Jody?

For those asking that had missed the bully print here it is again. art-affect.com/shop/steve-bulllockerz.com/s/257020294

— Jody Craddock (@MrJodyCraddock) October 28, 2012

That’s great, Jody! I once painted Vladimír Šmicer in the canteen while I was bored. His hair looked really good that day.


Alright Conor ? @cmcaleny twitter.com/ShaneDuffy34/s…

— Shane Duffy (@ShaneDuffy34) October 25, 2012


Is the Premier League still about football, or just about narratives related to it, a screen on which to project neuroses and prejudice?

— Philippe Auclair (@PhilippeAuclair) October 28, 2012

That’s a good point, Phillipe.

The mystery of how to correctly open the cereal bag endures. Good morning. twitter.com/AlexiLalas/sta…

— Alexi Lalas (@AlexiLalas) October 28, 2012

LOLOLOL!!! We’ve all been there!

It’s okay son…daddy’s here lol twitter.com/Sammy_Ameobi/s…

— Samuel Ameobi (@Sammy_Ameobi) October 28, 2012

That’s really funny, Sammy!

Can anyone else spot when someone comes out of a public toilet that they have destroyed that toilet??! The look they have is #Sheepish #Pong

— Rio Ferdinand (@rioferdy5) October 25, 2012

That’s gross, Rio! LOL!

I was just on Audley Harrison’s web page. I only clicked a couple of times and now the website is down.

— Mark Robinson (@robboma3) October 24, 2012

I don’t get it.

“@footballgreats: The best of Ibrahimovic. twitter.com/FootballGreats…#baller

— Ballertalk (@ballertalk) October 17, 2012

Wait, I just got the Audley Harrison one – LOL!

Okay, let me read the Ibrahimovic one……….



Have a great weekend, everyone!

Tune in every Thursday for more from Football Burp’s very own Tweety Camera!