West Ham and Sporting Lisbon strike up unlikely bust-up.
Out-of-work boss issues rousing come-and-get-me plea at Norwich hotel.
Podolski's farewell screamer mistakenly attributed to West Ham legend.
Non-league side holding out for full-sized scotch egg like they sell in pubs.
Local police holding out for asking price as Hammers table latest derisory offer.
Eagle-eyed boffin notices tear in fabric of universe caused by last night's 4-0 win for City.