The best Euro 2016 Opening Ceremony jokes

Jokes » The best Euro 2016 Opening Ceremony jokes

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After David Guetta's show at the Stade de France before France vs Romania, there were many Euro 2016 Opening Ceremony jokes
FOOTBALL DJ: Guetta (Image: Chucho Ramírez)

This is the biggest set of Euro 2016 Opening Ceremony jokes you’re ever likely to find following the spectacular display based around DJ David Guetta that was put on by the French before their clash with Romania at the Stade de France on Friday night.

The colourful and noisy show was met with a mixed reaction on social media, with many simply keen for the football to get underway after what felt like quite a substantial wait in anticipation.

Whatever your thoughts, these Euro 2016 Opening Ceremony jokes are probably just as good as the real thing:

If this opening ceremony doesn't feature a gang of angry farmers setting fire to a blockade then I'll be disgusted.#EURO2016

— Gaz Weetman (@GazWeetman) 10 June 2016

As I suggested yesterday, can't wait for the part where they wheel out the guillotine and behead Michel Platini. #EURO2016

— James Sharman (@jamessharman) 10 June 2016

Is there anything more exciting than watching French people dressed up as Liquorice Allsorts? #EURO2016

— Red Tipster (@RedTipster) 10 June 2016

Geil, Takeshis Castle! #EURO2016

— Daniel Uebber (@Daniel_Uebber) 10 June 2016

I can't tell if I'm watching the opening ceremony or the start of the Hunger Games. #Euro2016

— Kristan Heneage (@KHeneage) 10 June 2016

Surprised we haven't seen this lot turn up at the Opening Ceremony #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/YZdezIDxvd

— Ben Wills (@_BenWills) 10 June 2016

Here's a crazy idea just hear me out, instead of ceremonies the players just walk onto the pitch, shake hands an start playing #EURO2016

— RTB (@ROUNDTHEBEND__) 10 June 2016

I'd love to know which opening ceremony ideas got rejected #Euro2016 #FRAROM

— bwin (@bwin) 10 June 2016

When will they celebrate the French tradition of barging their way through queues at ski lifts? #TweetLikeATory #EURO2016

— McMmns irl rn (@Danny_McMoomins) 10 June 2016

Football commentators trying to commentate on anything that isn't football is so painful. #EURO2016 #openingceremony

— Daniela Phillips (@DanielaPhillips) 10 June 2016

So, um, the #EURO2016 opening ceremony has started. pic.twitter.com/w97R4KrriE

— Miriti Murungi (@NutmegRadio) 10 June 2016

I wish all sporting opening ceremonies were confined to an old man in a suit cutting a ribbon. #EURO2016

— Wilde Thingy (@WildeThingy) 10 June 2016

there should be a sport in which countries try and out opening ceremony each other. #EURO2016

— cesca (@cescabentley) 10 June 2016

David Baguetta! #EURO2016

— alf frommer (@siegstyle) 10 June 2016

It's not an opening ceremony if there are no teacakes! #EURO2016

— Stewart McDonald MP (@StewartMcDonald) 10 June 2016

A great televisual experience here as we watch a man playing records. #EURO2016

— Scott Reid ⚡️ (@scottreid1980) 10 June 2016

The opening ceremony can-can. As you do.#Euro2016 pic.twitter.com/t4RwGNq3lt

— Squawka News (@SquawkaNews) 10 June 2016

French concon #FRAROU pic.twitter.com/HCIQi9enfY

— Gilles Dhers (@gillesdhers) 10 June 2016

Not saying this opening ceremony is stereotypical, but it's making Allo Allo look like a fly-on-the-wall documentary. #EURO2016

— James Gill (@JamesGillComedy) 10 June 2016

Can’t help but think putting a DJ in this is like having a famous spreadsheet maker opening his Excel files LIVE ON STAGE. #FRAROU

— James O'Malley (@Psythor) 10 June 2016

What's the French for "Feckin' Excruciatin'"?#EURO2016 #openingceremony

— Tim Brannigan (@tim_brannigan) 10 June 2016

When is the DJ gonna play Will Grigg's on fire tho? #EURO2016

— Harry (@StarCoutinho) 10 June 2016

What is this guy doing? Don't guett it. #EURO2016 #Guetta

— Christian Gödecke (@goedcorner) 10 June 2016

Jaysus I'd love a bit of Riverdance now #EURO2016

— Neil Delamere (@neildelamere) 10 June 2016

Didn't know Robbie savage was doing a mix before the game #EURO2016 #tunes

— Harry morgan (@HarryMorganREAL) 10 June 2016

Is that Eyeball Paul on the decks?? #euro2016 #openingceremony

— Jason Grimes (@Grimezy25) 10 June 2016

Interesting pie chart!! #FRAROU #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/sgca8P4ziC

— BenchWarmers (@BeWarmers) 10 June 2016

David Guetta is what'd happen if Super Hans grew up in Paris. #EURO2016

— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) 10 June 2016

This opening ceremony will do nothing for the Remain campaign in Britain… #EURO2016

— Colm Tobin (@colmtobin) 10 June 2016

This opening ceremony is like Charlie and the Chocolate factory on smack 😱 awful #EURO2016

— Ruth Mary Hopwood (@XRuthMaryX) 10 June 2016

David Guetta is Willy Wonka in this sweet factory nightmare of an opening #EURO2016

— Jonzi D-Termined (@Jonzid) 10 June 2016

An arrest warrant has been issued for @davidguetta for crimes against music #EURO2016

— Uganda Police Force (@uganda_police) 10 June 2016

Oh, NOW I understand why they are all trying to get out of France. #EURO2016

— Tony Parsons (@TonyParsonsUK) 10 June 2016

This opening ceremony is like when you pay £20 to get into a club, only to find it's empty inside 😂 #EURO2016

— ** (@HanaT3) 10 June 2016

When does Diana Ross come on?#EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/EsEKvtbnoP

— Captain Kidd (@kidd_kong78) 10 June 2016

No one realises but that's actually our fake David Guetta 😂 #EURO2016

— Christöff (@Chris_Stark) 10 June 2016

Man presses play – crowd goes wild #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/t0SCSBfy51

— Fisted Away (@fistedaway) 10 June 2016

you put David Guetta on the opening #Euro2016 ceremony and why wonder why the violence on the streets? pic.twitter.com/FzzKoZbp9Q

— Casual Mind (@CasualMind_) 10 June 2016

To be honest, my kids school performance is better than this opening ceremony…#EURO2016

— Carl Bövis ⚽ (@CarlBovis_AFC) 10 June 2016

The creators of this opening ceremony had one big idea: dancing girls. #EURO2016

— boydhilton (@boydhilton) 10 June 2016

Come back Pitbull, all is forgiven #Euro2016

— Nick Malkoutzis (@NickMalkoutzis) 10 June 2016

END THIS OPENING CEREMONY!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! #EURO2016

— Yousef Teclab (@yousef738) 10 June 2016

I need Graham Norton commentating on this opening ceremony. #EURO2016

— märtha (@waterismybuddy) 10 June 2016

Opening ceramony so dead that the commentator just said 'nice balloons' #EURO2016

— Passion Gaming (@DavidGameWithme) 10 June 2016

How do they expect the teams to play on this pitch. Unbelievable madness, typical of Europe. #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/s5mG1OwCyj

— Stephen Tall (@stephentall) 10 June 2016

Loving David Guetta #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/56Nz0j4MNj

— Paul (@pafster) 10 June 2016

Did Sepp Blatter plan this ceremomy as act of final revenge? #EURO2016

— Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam) 10 June 2016

Someone stop his cd player and get on wae the game #EURO2016

— Kyle Fee (@Kyle_Fingers) 10 June 2016

#EURO2016 opening ceremony crap so the French team don't get emotional #shocking 💩

— Trevor Sinclair (@trevor8sinclair) 10 June 2016

A television audience of hundreds of millions is united by a single thought: "Christ alive, get on with it". #EURO2016

— Andrew Mueller (@andrew_mueller) 10 June 2016

This opening ceremony is underwhelming #EURO2016 my university pre drinks playlist would have this stadium going wild 🍾

— Hakim (@itshakimbukenya) 10 June 2016

I hope Luka Modric is getting a fee for DJ-ing at this. #Euro2016

— Kristan Heneage (@KHeneage) 10 June 2016

What better celebration could there be of French culture than David Guetta playing a load of dance tunes in English #Euro2016

— Chris Slater (@chrisslaterMEN) 10 June 2016

What's the French for "massively underwhelming opening ceremony"? Writing a letter to my pen pal Christophe. #EURO2016

— Colm Tobin (@colmtobin) 10 June 2016

Football is the world's greatest sport and this'll be a great tournament, but God football can't do an opening ceremony. #euro2016

— Scott Reid ⚡️ (@scottreid1980) 10 June 2016

I like this low-rent opening ceremony. It looks like they spent all their money on security and about €200 on everything else. #EURO2016

— Michael Christie (@mwchristie) 10 June 2016

This guy reflecting the mood of the entire WORLD!!!!#EURO2016 #openingceremony pic.twitter.com/QYwgkmW1UK

— Rob Ellis (@MrRobEllis) 10 June 2016

When David Guetta appears #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/JbNkoG38Xu

— Jonno Turner (@jonnot) 10 June 2016

Heard yer Da bought some decks#EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/6IfWA2dufh

— No Discothèque (@NiamhMcCarrick) 10 June 2016

The opening ceremony in one GIF… #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/hf2jLPA9DK

— Yakatak Football (@YakatakFootball) 10 June 2016

"So what did you do for the #EURO2016 opening ceremony nan, were you a dancer?"
"I was a giant pair of lips. I don't want to talk about it."

— Simon Berry (@SimoncBerry) 10 June 2016

HELLO LAAADDDIIIIEEES!!! #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/LP0Nnx2qVe

— JJ Cool L (@johnliddell1982) 10 June 2016

I WATCH DAVID GUETTA AND I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY SOME ENGLISH VOTE TO LEAVE EUROS TOURNAMENT. #EURO2016

— Beijing Red 4 Lyf (@Beijingcasuals) 10 June 2016

David Guetta smashed it there!!! #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/w3d6DQ6ggW

— Col Talbot (@ColTalbot1) 10 June 2016

Opening ceremony reminded me a bit of a night out in Watford tbh #EURO2016

— Grace Witherden (@GraceW_BM) 10 June 2016

This Opening Ceremony should really just have been 20 minutes of La Marseillaise over and over. #EURO2016

— Kenny Stewart (@Kenny__Stewart) 10 June 2016

It's a small world after all. #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/BiuNspIujQ

— Maximiliano Bretos (@mbretosESPN) 10 June 2016

How are they gonna clear the pitch in 5 mins ? #EURO2016

— Emma Keeling (@emke) 10 June 2016

Sorry but if your country is the birthplace of Daft Punk and you wheel out David Guetta, you deserve to lose every single game #Euro2016

— Daniel Graham Parker (@dgp202) 10 June 2016

If you missed it, here's the #EURO2016 ceremony in one photo. pic.twitter.com/XRVWRH7Xz2

— Scott Myers (@ProducerScott) 10 June 2016

david guetta at the #EURO2016 opening ceremony? i'd rather have seen this guy pic.twitter.com/rxjhbeqCjH

— krautsider (@krautsider) 10 June 2016

Why are they playing football at the Zara Larsson concert? #EURO2016

— The Grump Crusader ツ (@grumpcrusader) 10 June 2016

"Allez les blues! I'm David Guetta. Are you ready to watch me enthusiastically turn some knobs?" #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/Qfz3V6Lxzf

— Miriti Murungi (@NutmegRadio) 10 June 2016

David Guetta could get a job working on an Information kiosk #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/xx5RMfU9b5

— Michael Pattinson (@MikePattinson) 10 June 2016

One 99 Flake and a Calippo whenever you're ready please David #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/lQ1suTAYui

— Nigel Mitchell (@MrNigelMitchell) 10 June 2016

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