World Cup 2026 will be held on the sun and shall take place during its November cooling period, it has been announced.
The centre of the solar system, hot, has been confirmed as future hosts of international football’s ultimate competition in what is already being described as Fifa’s biggest and most flagrant “f**k you” to date.
Fifa has come in for criticism for the shockingly brazen manner in which they awarded the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, preparations for which have become a full-blown humanitarian crisis.
Well now they’ve arranged for the following World Cup to be staged on the actual sun, in a move that’s sure to see thousands of people perish needlessly.
Er, again.
Although by far the most important source of energy for life on Earth, the Sun is also a gargantuan ball of hot plasma that will burn anyone who even comes near it to a crisp.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Sepp Blatter cackled evilly and then tried in vain to keep a straight face while he explained why World Cup 2026 will be held on the sun.
He said: “Having considered all the bids, we thought the biggest possible ‘f**k you’ we could achieve with any of them would be to send everyone to the sun and laugh as we watch them all perish live on TV while drinking champagne on our yachts.
“Oh and you can still play all your stupid little league games while it’s going on, it’s just that all of your best players will have burned horribly.
“Laters, bitches.”
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