West Ham season not going entirely to plan, new study shows

Survey reveals little to no expectation of getting webbed by mid-table teams every weekend.

Slaven Bilić's West Ham aren't as dominant as expected
BEATEN? Bilić (Image: joshjdss)

West Ham United’s 2016-17 season is not going entirely to plan, a new study has shown.

Slaven Bilić’s Hammers were widely expected to kick on as the world’s biggest club after moving into a massive, state-of-the-art stadium and not selling a Frenchman.

According to the findings of the study, there was little to no expectation that they’d spend each weekend getting webbed by Watford, West Brom and Southampton.

The survey also shows fans hadn’t counted on being so far removed from the action that they could still see the ghosts of Danny Boyle’s 2012 Olympics opening ceremony.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Mike, a West Ham fan from Tower Hamlets, expressed confusion that his side hadn’t won the Premier League yet.

He said: “Let’s face it, eleven goals conceded in three games, that’s not quite title-winning form.

“Michail Antonio should have been tracking back for a couple of Southampton’s goals, but from where I was sitting he was too busy erecting a 50-foot grim reaper in a symbolic take-down of the government’s NHS policies.

“You get punished for that at this level.”