Unwanted David Moyes records going cheap! That’s the cry going around Old Trafford right now after Manchester United moved to dimiss their Scottish manager.
The records, unwanted, require new owners now that Moyes has moved out and include such memorable outings as having the double done over them by both Merseyside clubs, a lowest Premier League points tally and Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the Red Devils’ executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward urged fans to arrive early in order not to miss out on the best deals.
He said: “These unwanted David Moyes records will be flying off the shelves, believe me.
“Look at all these classic unwanted records – the last five Oasis LPs, that Moby one with all the jingles on it, first ever defeat at home to Swansea – these are worth their weight in gold.
“And it’s not just records we’re flogging – there’s also this dead horse.”
Speaking exclusively to rival website Soccer Blog, Moyes remained coy on the subject of his unwanted records and preferred to focus on the decade-or-so’s worth of reputation-salvaging at Sunderland or some such that lies ahead for him.
He grimaced: “Ooch…d’you reckon Spurs would take me?
“What a hospital pass that was from Sir Alex. I’ll get him back for that one.
“Bawbag.”
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