It’s the next Moyes job that’s keeping a nation on tenterhooks and it looks set to be a right old slog, writes Guillaume Tilley-Mercer.

Yes, it appears that former Manchester United manager David Moyes is set to snub a lucrative offer to be Paddy Power’s official mascot in favour of spending a decade painstakingly dragging some relegation battlers or other towards the upper reaches of the table.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Moyes spelled out his intention to lap up the plaudits banging his head against a glass ceiling before eventually landing another ‘top job’ sometime in his sixties.

He said: “I’ve got to do it all again, haven’t I?

“For absolute f***’s sake. Have you got any idea how hard it was to get into the top four with a team featuring Marcus Bent, Alessandro Pistone and Kevin Kilbane?

“It takes it out of you, desperately clinging on to all those 1-0 scorelines. Compared to that, dipping 3-0 at home to City is a walk in the park.

“At least you’re resigned to your fate by half time so you can just kind of grimace your way through the rest of it, playing ‘pin the tail on the donkey’ to decide on substitutions.

“Now I’ve got to spend another ten years slogging my guts out. Well that’s just super.”

For odds on the next Moyes job, shout stuff out of the window until someone relevant walks past and hears you.