Slash those Ryan Giggs next Manchester United manager odds, because the worn-out Welshman’s all set to lead his side to three consecutive home wins following the sacking of David Moyes.
The [term removed for legal reasons], [ditto], will finally get to have a go at managing the club he’s represented for over seventy years – and the explosion of goodwill brought on by United’s upcoming fixture list shall see him remain in the job until early next season at the very least.
With home games against Norwich City, Hull City and Sunderland to come over the next week-and-a-half-or-so, Moyes could count himself unlucky to have been deprived of such a potentially redeeming, albeit cracks-paper-overing, run of victories.
Speaking exclusively from the immediate future, Giggs confirmed that he’d been literally carried into whichever room in Old Trafford it is that managerial contracts get signed in on a wave of both goodwill and actual people carrying him.
He said: “I hadn’t seen such scenes of joy and relief since the gaffer and Bryan Kidd jumped on the pitch at Sheffield Wednesday.
“Such is the elation felt worldwide by Manchester United’s apparent return to eminence that peace is declared around the globe and evolution accelerates, in a ‘you’ve reached level 2’ kind of way, to the extent that we’ve built time machines.
“Thus enabling me to contact you from here in the immediate future.
“So, you know, good times ahead.”
He added: “It’s not going to last, mind.
“I don’t know what I’m doing either.”
Have you slashed those Ryan Giggs next Manchester United manager odds yet?