A man who voted for the 2022 World Cup to be held in Qatar has accused Fifa of deliberately trying to smear his reputation.

Uefa president Michel Platini, brass-necked, hit out at world football’s governing body for “insidious” leaks designed to tarnish the good name he cemented for himself when he voted for the World Cup to go to an oil-rich Arab state with summer temperatures of 50 degrees, no sporting infrastructure and a proclivity for slave labour.

The former France international has thrown his chapeau into the ring to replace the soon-to-be-even-further-disgraced Sepp Blatter as Fifa president, and is therefore concerned about word getting out that he’s also a bit of a scoundrel.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Platini remained adamant that he is the best man for world football’s top job.

Il a dit: “I’m hungry for even more power and I think I should be given that power.

“I proved my suitability for the role beyond all doubt when I threw my weight behind one of the most brazenly corrupt operations ever to sully the beautiful game.

“If Sepp’s reign has taught us anything, it’s that you can get away with pulling stunts like that for decades before anyone actually does anything about it.

“I’m okay with that.”