Russia accused of hacking Everton

Shock spending spree arouses suspicion.

Is this Vladimir Putin or Tony Hibbert at Everton?
Putin? Or just Hibbert? (Image: Ingy the Wingy)

Russia has been accused of trying to influence the outcome of next season’s Premier League after Everton spent over £50m in a matter of hours.

The Toffees’ shock splurge has aroused suspicion that Vladimir Putin must somehow be behind it all, although it is not yet clear to what ends.

First they landed Sunderland goalkeeper Jordan Pickford for £30m, and this was swiftly followed by the £23.6m capture of Ajax captain Davy Klaassen.

Fingers have been pointed at British-Iranian businessman Farhad Moshiri, who has a 49.9 per cent stake in Everton as well as shares in steel and energy companies in Russia.

However, the conspiracy theory is said to be at “an early stage”.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, an anonymous internet message board crank claimed that covert Russian influence on Everton might explain why “chemtrails” are “turning frogs gay”.

He said: “There’s undoubtedly a link between gay frogs and Everton signing a £30m goalkeeper – it’s all cultural Marxism, you see.

“And I haven’t ruled out the perpetrators of Pizzagate being mixed up in it all somehow.

“After all, there have been multiple sightings of Putin at Goodison in recent years.

“Although, thinking on, that might have been Tony Hibbert.”