Manchester United have today moved to bring forward their open-top bus parade to avoid clashing with their victory in the Champions League Final.
The Red Devils and their supporters feel their inexorable march to all this season’s top honours is assured after back-to-back 4-0 wins.
A club spokesperson explained: “The logistics are an absolute nightmare.
“We expect the title to be tied up by March, but that could clash with our League Cup win.
“Then there is the close proximity of the FA Cup and Champions League final victories.
“Factor in PFA Player of the Season awards, Sports Personality of the Year awards and Juan Mata winning the Great British Bake Off, and I fear burnout.
“Or we could end up sixth after winning our first two games, like we did last season. Someone raised that possibility but none of us considered it to be very likely.
“Especially when you consider that Romelu Lukaku’s goals took Everton to, erm, 7th.”