A man today seriously regretted leaving Chelsea’s Marcos Alonso out of his fantasy football team, we can confirm.
It is believed that the man, who has been described variously as ‘idiotic’ and ‘a total moron’, owned the premium defender but left him on the bench for the trip to Spurs.
Alonso’s ensuing, match-winning two-goal salvo left one man crying into his laptop-side bowl of Wotsits.
He said: “I just like to put Wotsits in a bowl when I’m watching footy. It’s not that weird.
“What is weird is Tottenham’s Wembley hoodoo, something I realise I should have factored in when selecting my Gameweek 2 back three.
“Upon reflection, Alfie Mawson was a poor choice of replacement and I fully expect I’ll be on the receiving end of a bit of stick from the lads.
“We pass the stick ceremonially between us based on who’s most ruined their life through fantasy football that particular week.”
We then got to see the bit of stick.