Football Burp understands that England are playing Germany tonight in some kind of football match – so, you know, look out for that one.

The national team, perennially disappointing, will be taking on their German counterparts in Dortmund, in what will come as a blow to the millions of people to whom international breaks are total anathema.

In a further twist, Gareth Southgate’s Three Lions side are also rumoured to be facing Lithuania in a World Cup qualifier on Sunday.

That’s right, you heard it here first.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Steve, a football fan from Crawley, admitted he’d forgotten that international football was even still a thing.

He said: “So I take it there’s no Premier League football this weekend, then?

“I suppose I’d better go hibernate in the woods for a bit.”