Arsenal supporters are seeking legal counsel on how best to proceed with preventing Arsène Wenger from picking Olivier Giroud in his starting XI.
The Gunners fans were dismayed to see their title hopes ended for another season by Tuesday night’s 1-2 defeat at home to whoever was playing for Watford this week.
And they were quick to lay the blame at Wenger’s feet, since any attempt to lay it at Giroud’s might see it catapulted into the horizon.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the Gooners outlined their intention to find a legal loophole that enables them to issue a decree from the stands.
They chorused: “We’ve been reading in the news all week about these things called Executive Orders, but it turns out you have to be President to do those.
“Clearly we’re not President, so we’ll have to find another method – and that’s where you come in, provided you’re a) a lawyer, and b) reading this.
“Please help us, because no amount of barbed terrace chants will convince Arsène to abandon his policy of rewarding Giroud for a couple of goals with a lifetime’s supply of guaranteed first team football.
“It’s no exaggeration to say that our collective sanity is at stake, so please, show us the way to intervene before we misguidedly storm the Home Office out of desperation.