Her Majesty the Queen delivered her first ever transfer deadline day message with uncharacteristic curtness, we can confirm.
While Elizabeth II is traditionally given to addressing her subjects each Christmas, she had not hitherto marked transfer deadline day in such a fashion.
But this all changed today – and an intrepid Football Burp got the exclusive.
On a day of little to no transfer activity of any genuine note, the main talking point is sure to be this website’s remarkable coup.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the Queen remained philosophical.
She said: “How the **** did you get this number?
“**** off before I call the police.”
In retrospect, it might not have been the Queen.