“All hail our new robot overlords,” says gracious Roy Hodgson

Human error close to being eliminated entirely from sporting contest.

Roy Hodgson managing England
RAVES ABOUT ROBOTS: Roy (Image: Олег Дубина)

Roy Hodgson has hailed football’s new robot overlords after seeing his Crystal Palace side knocked out of the FA Cup at Brighton.

The match was the first to feature new VAR (Video Assistant Referee) technology, widely seen as the next major step towards eliminating human error from professional sporting contest.

Hodgson was initially irked by Glenn Murray’s late winner for Brighton, suspecting a hand-ball in the buildup, but VAR was not consulted and Hodgson later withdrew his complaint.

He told Football Burp: “I’m now satisfied that it was a legitimate goal, and furthermore, all hail our new robot overlords.

“It’s not like it was back in my day, which in a way it still was up until last night.

“Yes, back in my day, you could score a goal and no one would ask a robot about it. It was a robotless sport.

“Except for the goal line technology, of course, but that’s been part of the game for as long as I can remember.

“I’ll never forget leading Switzerland to the 1958 FA Cup. Old Bob Bobson – Bobby, we used to call him – had a hat-trick of overhead kicks cleared off the line, but on each occasion the robot said ‘goal’.

“Simpler times, eh? I owe so much to that robot, I really do.”