The best Sam Allardyce jokes after Telegraph sting

Unseemly secretly-filmed videos of England manager released after undercover 'investigation'.

There were lots of Sam Allardyce jokes after an undercover investigation of the England manager in The Telegraph newspaper
When you’ve been secretly filmed (Image: Tal Ofer)

Don’t miss the best Sam Allardyce jokes after an undercover ‘investigation’ by The Telegraph newspaper that claimed he “used his position as England manager to negotiate a £400,000 deal and offered advice to businessmen on how to ‘get around’ FA rules on player transfers”.

Although it is not clear if the recently-appointed national team coach has broken any rules, the secretly-filmed videos that were sensationally released last night are quite unseemly and his position now appears to be under threat.

These were the best of the Allardyce jokes after the Telegraph sting:

"Don't be alarmed, Mr Allardyce. Just go about your daily routine like I'm not wearing the hat." pic.twitter.com/EIOGcMsoPf

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) 26 September 2016

This is defo the biggest embarrassment for Allardyce since he lectured me about cricket till I had explain Warne bowled legspin not offspin

— Marina Hyde (@MarinaHyde) 26 September 2016

Sam Allardyce after securing £400k deal. https://t.co/UweOA5qSQv

— Weekend Football (@weekendfootball) 26 September 2016

Sam Allardyce always seems the kind of guy who'd stand uncomfortably close to you at a pub urinal, then fart and say "better out than in."

— Scott (@Flying_Inside) 26 September 2016

The man is sat in a Chinese restaurant, drinking a pint of wine. We should be giving him a pay rise and a statue pic.twitter.com/zWsMoM5xoD

— GeorgeWeahsCousin (@WeahsCousin) September 26, 2016

Knew I'd seen this somewhere before lad #BigSam #Allardyce #England #FA pic.twitter.com/vMgNUJW4iD

— R U OK HUN? x (@WiltonBlowig) September 26, 2016

Sam Allardyce arriving at the FA just as the story breaks from the @Telegraph #BigSam #RogueTraders pic.twitter.com/hiUt6LmHcE

— Darren Whitfield (@darrenwhitfield) 26 September 2016

Sam Allardyce will never again speak to a man with a GoPro on his head

— Eoin Sheahan (@EoinSheahan) September 26, 2016

Sam Allardyce deciding what FA rules to bypass in the chippy. pic.twitter.com/zCGoSEONq3

— Nice Guy Kenny (@NiceGuyKenny) September 26, 2016

"And then mum asked which box was for Leave, and all the waiting voters let out a cheer. She's 93 now you know." pic.twitter.com/YoVjBaNU9V

— Peter Charles (@peter27afcb) September 26, 2016

a man called Big Sam being a bit of a wheeler-dealer is as surprising as a man called Paul Hollywood chasing that sweet paycheque.

— Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) 26 September 2016

Don't understand the shock around Allardyce and third parties. On any given night, he doesn't seem like a man who would stop at two parties.

— David Baddiel (@Baddiel) 26 September 2016

Big Sam deleting his bank records be like… delete, Delete, DELETE!! #BigSam pic.twitter.com/iXWWN2RXVw

— Walter Smith (@mancitysmith) September 26, 2016

That feeling when you could be sacked from your ‘dream job’ with a perfect record intact. 💃 https://t.co/PPW37xeDrm

— Bleacher Report UK (@br_uk) 27 September 2016

Paul Gascoigne has just arrived at FA HQ with two fishing rods and a loaf of bread stating he is a friend of Big Sam

— Martin O'Neill (@MartinONeill85) 26 September 2016

Sam Allardyce isn't a scandal. It's a breach of technical rules in a stupid game. McDonalds paying 17 year olds £3.87 is a scandal.

— Mark Millar (@mrmarkmillar) September 27, 2016

Just seen Big Sam taking an England pencil case back to Argos.

— THE ANFIELD WRAP (@TheAnfieldWrap) 26 September 2016

"Business man": Would you like a glass of wine?

Big Sam: Sure

"Business man": Small glass? Large glass?

Big Sam: Pint please

— T King of Bolton (@gazzacrompton) September 26, 2016

Hang on a second… pic.twitter.com/yJA1QxxHTP

— Paddy Power (@paddypower) September 26, 2016

Sam Allardyce is the type of guy that goes to a Chinese restaurant and orders sausage and chips

— Matt (@MCFCMATT) September 26, 2016

We've enjoyed the journey Big Sam! pic.twitter.com/PKuX9HzHdd

— Chris (@skyblue66) September 26, 2016

.@taylorswift13 what do you make of all this nonsense with allardyce then

— mutable joe (@mutablejoe) 27 September 2016

Big Sam's ergonomic workspace test in the morning… pic.twitter.com/tTAo9mB6bg

— Ian Foster (@ianfoster_motd) September 26, 2016

Big Sam at FA HQ tomorrow morning😂 pic.twitter.com/4BwFd13FN4

— Derek Clark (@derekclarksport) September 26, 2016

If Big Sam weren't in football he'd be on Rogue Traders getting chased across a car park in Bolton by Dom Littlewood for a dodgy extension.

— JD (@CFCJD) September 26, 2016

Sam Allardyce is a disgrace and needs to be punished, humiliated and made an example of. Therefore he should continue as England manager

— Steve Bugeja (@SteveBugeja) 27 September 2016

@SkyKaveh a chinese buffet and a few pints and big sam was in!

— kevin (@kev79cfc) 27 September 2016

"And I'll tell you another thing, there hasn't been a decent comedian in this country since Roy Chubby Brown" pic.twitter.com/91ooIFLhP7

— Captain Kidd (@kidd_kong78) September 26, 2016

There's only man who could possibly offer the integrity to replace Sam Allardyce in a situation like this pic.twitter.com/dpP5MVIA5B

— Mac (@Tweetgood_Mac) September 26, 2016


Big Sam is reportedly now trying to eat the investigative reporter


— FantasyYIRMA #FPL (@FantasyYIRMA) September 27, 2016

Thank you for the days. Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me… https://t.co/LLCiGTenFW

— Mundial Magazine (@MundialMag) September 27, 2016

😎 pic.twitter.com/0GckjawZqO

— Chico Flores (@ChicoFlores12) September 27, 2016

Sam Allardyce when he saw this morning's papers pic.twitter.com/EGlkFx8uoj

— Onefootball (@Onefootball) September 27, 2016

Rumours are Sam Allardyce is so nervous this morning he's barely even touched his second breakfast

— Dream Team (@dreamteamfc) September 27, 2016

when you're about to be sacked by the FA but still have 5 hours left of the all inclusive wristband https://t.co/gIGb8cMBJO

— Michael (@bainbridgif) September 27, 2016

Anyone know any decent lawyers?

I'm asking for a friend.

— Big Sam (@BigSamTheMan) September 27, 2016

I was initially against appointing Sam Allardyce, but if he's going to be sacked for corruption after just one game, it was all worth it.

— Flan (@Flannyballs) September 27, 2016

😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/ULjQJijOl8

— Pie Sports Booze (@piesportsbooze) September 27, 2016

Absolutely done in at Sam Allardyce having 3 times as many games as England's Soccer Aid manager than as England's actual team manager.

— big sam sympathiser (@hmclandress) September 27, 2016

BREAKING: FA announce Sam Allardyce's punishment.

He must remain England manager until 2032.

— Jake Humphrey (@mrjakehumphrey) September 27, 2016