Jonathan Walters has revealed how he was forced to apprehend someone who his spotted doing a poo near his home.
The retired Republic of Ireland international detailed his pursuit of the offender, who was caught in the act, in a series of tweets from his social media account.
For all the idiots going out unnecessarily, I hope he finds you and… #BorisJohnson pic.twitter.com/gS3FIat7KQ
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) March 24, 2020
After chasing him up a hill and introducing the man to the neighbours, Walters brought him back to the scene of the crime before making him clear it up.
Apparently there’s also a video, which has yet to be shared:
https://twitter.com/JonWalters19/status/1242027340802060289
…Looking like a runner, with short shorts, back pack and drinking straws coming out of his backpack. He set off at a rapid pace, disappeared around a bend and up an extremely steep country lane. I sprang over the gate and proceeded to chase the phantom shitter…
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) March 23, 2020
…I soon realised this guy was a decent runner but he had seriously underestimated my hill sprinting ability. Running on a 45 degree hill I was catching him up fast whilst telling him so. He had all the gear and no idea! I caught him up stopping him in his tracks…
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) March 23, 2020
https://twitter.com/JonWalters19/status/1242027844856950786
…She comes out and begins to tell him how disgusting he is. I have now frogmarched him back down to the site of the defecation and the offender, armed with a plastic bag provided by Lynne my neighbour, proceeds to clean up his mess…
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) March 23, 2020
…With my phone in hand, I decided to take a short video of him doing so…as proof! He then physically removes my phone out of my hand saying No, No, No! I physically retrieve my phone back and he realises he’s still a runner, with all the gear and no idea!..
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) March 23, 2020
…He quickly puts the plastic bag with offending substance into his backpack and runs off in the opposite direction-no doubt squelching the whole way home, which he said was 10 miles away. I hope his wife gets a whiff of him when he returns. Whilst this has been going on..
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) March 23, 2020
…An older couple, having watched the whole episode unfold in front of them approach me. With a wry smile on his face the husband tells me that he told his wife “There’s no chance he’s getting away from him!” Honestly the lengths…
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) March 23, 2020
…people are going to at the moment to avoid using their toilet roll is beyond me. I think the offender should come back and apologise to my wife, kids and neighbours who could’ve easily trod in his disgusting mess, or…
— Jonathan Walters (@JonWalters19) March 23, 2020