Chinese Super League teams have released a joint statement regarding the Diego Costa situation, asking if they can have Spurs striker Harry Kane instead.
Chelsea left Costa out of their squad for this evening’s fixture at Leicester City amidst reports that he’d had his head turned by a £30m-a-year offer from China.
But attention has now switched to Tottenham’s top scorer after his scintillating hat-trick against West Brom.
Despite their impeccable grasp of our native tongue, the Chinese teams reached an agreement with two-bit satirical football websites to release their statement in comedically stereotyped pidgin English.
It read: “This okay, yeah?
“We no want Costa no more – honestly, this is so demeaning – we now want Harry Kane, thank you please.
“We see hat-trick against West Brom. Costa no get hat-trick against West Brom. We change minds now, we so sorry.
“Three billion pounds a week we give to you, Harry Kane. You have think, yeah? We call you back tomorrow.
“Okay, bye-bye now.”