The entire world pulled up a chair as news broke that pirate Santa Claus Chuck Blazer has well and truly squealed on Fifa and that details are imminent.
Everyone, enthralled, was also quick to source industrial-sized batches of popcorn as they heard that the FBI informant, wired, has comprehensively told on his former organisation and that the juicy particulars will soon be with us.
In news that came as a shock to Chuck Blazer’s parrot sidekick Pepe, it also transpired that the eminent Santa Claus pirate mole had a luxury apartment just for his cats.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, one FBI agent confirmed that it is indeed just like the Sopranos plot line involving Big Pussy
They said: “Er, the FBI mole thing, not the flat full of cats.
“That’s a brilliant picture you’ve put on this news story. ‘Pele wanna cracker?’ Maybe the parrot’s saying that! You know, because it’s football.
“I mean soccer.”
They quipped: “No you jackass, the quip was the thing I said before about the parrot saying ‘Pele wanna cracker’.
“You’ve ruined it now.”