Taarabt AC Milan move gives hope to everyone

Gary, a butcher from Penge, said he hadn't felt this inspired since Thomas Gravesen signed for Real Madrid.

Nobel Prize ceremony
Nobel Prize ceremony… Possible (Image: Karl Sandels)

It’s the Adel Taarabt AC Milan signing that’s sweeping the nation, and it’s given everyone hope that they can achieve anything if they set their mind to it.

The Moroccan, mercurial, had been planning to spend this season writing copy for Fulham’s match day programme under a false name, but he will now replace Kevin-Prince Boateng in the Serie A giants’ midfield.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Gary, a butcher from Penge, said he hadn’t felt this inspired since Thomas Gravesen signed for Real Madrid.

He enthused: “I literally feel like I can accomplish anything now that Taarabt’s joining AC Milan.

“I’ve never really had much of a talent for anything other than chopping up dead animals, but now I think I might enter the EuroVision Song Contest or something.

“Seriously, this news is powerful stuff. I wouldn’t rule out peace in the Middle East as a direct result of it.”

Also speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Alan, an amateur astronomer from Berwick-upon-Tweed, took great encouragement from the news.

He said: “Taarabt’s joined AC Milan? Hmm, maybe I can win that Nobel Prize after all.

“Better get cracking, then – scientific advances in my field happen on an almost daily basis.”

Asked what he thought of his chances, Alan said: “Oh, a billion to one, but if Adel Taarabt can play for AC Milan then I can go down in history as the inventor of precisely what I cannot disclose just now.

“But I’ve thought of it and everything, honest.”

In other news Bryan Ruiz is signing for Bayern Munich. Probably.

What do you think of the Adel Taarabt AC Milan move? Shout your opinion out the window until we walk past and hear you.