Steven Gerrard’s ego is on the rampage in Downtown LA, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake, we can confirm.
The former Liverpool midfielder, a Phil Collins fan, was left powerless to intervene as his self-regard slipped out of his head through his nostrils and ran around demanding the ball off his LA Galaxy team mates.
Having successfully derailed their season, Gerrard’s ego is now stomping through the central business district of Los Angeles, California, smashing up prestigious buildings and swatting cars aside with its fearsome claws.
This latest escalation of Gerrard’s narcissism is believed to have been caused by news of Teddy Sheringham signing for Stevenage at the age of 49, a full 14 years Gerrard’s senior.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, one eyewitness did his best to describe the carnage while running full pelt alongside us.
They gasped: “It made mincemeat out of the Marriott, and now it’s heading for the Grand Avenue Project.
“I saw it swallow like three buses in one go. This thing really means business.”