It’s the Spurs temporary stadium conundrum that’s got a nation guessing – where will they play, and who is responsible for burning down White Hart Lane?
The club, full name Tottenham Hotspur, was this morning facing up to a life of homelessness following a mysterious fire that currently has police “stumped”.
Chairman Daniel Levy has hit back angrily at reports that he was seen making a hasty getaway from White Hart Lane late last night, arguing that that could have been anyone’s Gold-Plated Porsche.
He was also indignant when pressed on the matter of why he was holding a petrol can in one hand and a box of matches in the other.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Levy laid the blame squarely at the feet of Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger.
He said: “No you fool, I said ‘arson attack’.
“Don’t you dare try and twist this.”
The identity of the Spurs temporary stadium remains unknown, although MK Dons are believed to have invited them to stop in for a cup of tea and a chat if they’re ever in the area.
West Ham United on the other hand have described the prospect of sharing the Olympic Stadium with Tottenham as “about as likely as Carlton Cole winning the Golden Boot”.
Wembley declined to comment as it was busy recuperating from a lapsed attendance.