Sheffield Wednesday last night ruined the FA Cup quarter-finals for everyone by bowing out of the competition with a 1-2 defeat to Charlton Athletic at Hillsborough.

The Owls, disappointing, would have set up a tantalising ‘steel city derby’ against Sheffield United had they beaten the Addicks – and Football Burp understands that everyone would have been well hyped about that.

Speaking exclusively to the aforementioned spoof football website, this one, the writer of this news story told himself that he had been really looking forward to reliving his formative football-watching years with memories of the Wednesday-United semi-final in 1993.

I said: “Remember that Chris Waddle free-kick? That was blinding, that was.

“And Alan Cork! I couldn’t believe someone so bald and grey-bearded could be a footballer – that was a revelation to me at the time, even more so than how scary Colin Hendry looked when he was yelling at a teammate.

“Lost to Arsenal in the final, didn’t they? And in the Coca Cola Cup, as it was back then – that’s when Tony Adams dropped the match-winner Steve Morrow in celebration, breaking his arm.

“Football was a real man’s game back then – players would just pick each other up and throw each other about, willy nilly. It was carnage.

“Yeah, there’s not really much to write about at the moment, unless we cover the Anelka quenelle thing for the umpteenth time.

“It’s a good draw for the FA Cup quarter-finals, too – Arsenal v Everton, Steve Bruce taking on his old club, a repeat of last year’s final…bring it on, I say.

“Can I go to bed now? Yeah? Thank God for that.”

I added: “I think I’m losing my mind.”