EXCLUSIVE: Stupefying Soldado miss happens

Lord Sugar tweets grandmother would have scored it, smiles smugly to self.

Roberto Soldado miss man
Soldado… Miss-ty eyed (Image: Jon Candy)

A Roberto Soldado miss for the ages happened last night as Tottenham Hotspur took on Diplo Dprivno a Ukrainian side in the Europa League.

The miss, gobsmacking, was this morning being exaggerated flamboyantly in articles such as this one – if you can call it an article, more like a prattling.

In a move that’s already being described as “super boneheaded” and “astoundingly dismal”, Soldado missed the kind of open goal that you see a few times a season, and that he probably would have scored had it not bobbled up and hit his shin.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the Soldado miss remained philosophical about being dissed by Alan Sugar on Twitter.

Is Soldado a donkey or what. My old grandmother could have scored the one he just missed. Nearly as bad as the Ronnie Rosenthal miss

— Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) February 20, 2014

(See? We didn’t just make that bit up.)

It said: “I was annoyed at first, of course I was, but then I spoke to Darren Bent’s miss against Portsmouth.

“It called me up and told me all about the time Harry Redknapp says his missus could have scored it, and how it’s now able to laugh it off.

“Nine times out of ten Redknapp’s missus misses it, we agreed.”

It added: “In any case, my cousin Soldado Miss for Valencia Against Barcelona is worse than me.


In other news, a prattling on the Soldado miss terminated hastily upon the author’s realisation of it being Friday.