Sahara challenges Joey Barton Twitter meltdowns to hot air contest

Sand everywhere.

Sahara desert blowing sand at the Joey Barton Twitter meltdowns
Sahara… Just deserts

This week’s succession of Joey Barton Twitter meltdowns has been challenged to a hot air contest by the Sahara desert, Football Burp understands.

The barren area of land, arid, felt so much hot air emanating from Barton’s increasingly ludicrous claims that it has started responding in kind, blowing sand on everyone’s gaffs and motors from thousands of bleedin’ miles away.

According to a source, Joey Barton had to cut short celebrations of his Twitter meltdowns having achieved ‘white noise’ status in order to attend to the Sahara’s retaliation.

Encompassing an array of broadsides against the likes of Wayne Rooney, Mark Hughes and Javier Pastore, the latest Joey Barton Twitter meltdowns also include references to himself as “exceptional” and a could-have-been England captain.

In a shock twist, scientists discovered that the meltdowns have arrived more or less exactly one year on from his decision to label Paris Saint-Germain defender Thiago Silva “a ladyboy”.

A watch said: “You can set me by him, I’ll tell you that.

“What’s he got against PSG, anyway? First he takes the piss out of Zlatan’s nose, then he calls Silva a ladyboy, now Pastore’s rubbish all of a sudden.

“I tell you what, you can tell it’s Friday when you’ve got drivel like this getting posted.

“A watch that’s talking, for crying out loud.”

The Sahara desert was unavailable for comment because it totally blows.

Oh yes we did.