Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers says he regrets describing his side’s 3-1 defeat to Aston Villa at Anfield as “a bad day at the office” following NBC’s shock arrival at Melwood this morning.
The American broadcasting network, 86, was keen to follow Fox in being granted full behind-the-scenes access at the Merseyside club – but Rodgers was left unimpressed when a delegation presented their plans to rope in Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant as executive directors.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Rodgers maintained that that’s not what he meant when he was referring to “the office”, although he accepted that Joe Allen would make a pretty good Gareth.
He said: “At the end of the day, there are only three American television networks you can trust – hang on, I’ve got them written down in this envelope.
“Okay, those trustworthy networks in full: 1) Fox. 2) HBO. 3) Comedy Central. I knew NBC would let us down this season, so I had their name written down in this other envelope alongside ‘referees’ and ‘Borini’.
“Command can be lonely, so I always carry envelopes around for company. At the end of the day, you can only trust envelopes. Er, and your family. And the supporters, because they might be reading this too.
“Yes, that’s my face on all the stamps. I thought the printers who made those up for me were outstanding, very much disciples to the ideas I was trying to put across.
“I like to educate bespoke printing services. You train dogs. My Yorkshire Terriers have learned that winning the ball higher up the garden is worth 10-12 extra biscuits a season, and that if they can then maintain possession more than next door’s cat then eight times out of ten they’ll get to drink out of the toilet.
He added: “Okay.”
NBC said: “Great, Brendan – that’s all we need.
“Now, can you put us in touch with that alcoholic poet guy? That guy’s a stitch.”