Referee performs competently in historic first

30-year-old Michael Oliver becomes instant poster boy for post-Sir Alex era.

Referee Michael Oliver
UNFLAPPABLE: Ref (Image: Dudek1337)

A referee has performed competently and even bravely in a high-level football match, according to the hundreds of thousands of people who were there or who saw it on television.

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The official, named as 30-year-old Michael Oliver, made himself an instant poster boy for the post-Sir Alex Ferguson era when he refused to let himself be intimated by an Old Trafford crowd that’s been described in many quarters as “baying”.

Displaying a degree of authority and diligence belying both his tender years and his profession, Oliver booked Ángel Di María for being a bit of a nob before swiftly giving him his marching orders for being a total nob during Manchester United’s FA Cup defeat to Arsenal last night.

Kosovan wonderkid winger Adnan Januzaj was another to be carded for nobbishness on what proved to be a great night in the continuing battle against the entitled and rather spoilt behaviour patterns of professional footballers.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, all other referees in this country sighed deeply and rolled their eyes.

They chorused: “Oh great, so now we have to up our games, do we? Like, actually pay attention and be consistent and that?

“Well that’s just super.”

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