Paul Merson: “I’ll quit punditry if Arsenal sign Pastapopplytoss (sic)”

"I held my tongue when they signed Oboomerang and McAteerian," he roars.

Arsenal target Sokratis Papastathopoulos
PURSUIT: Papastathopoulos (Image: Ailura)

Paul Merson has threatened to turn his back on punditry if Arsenal complete the signing of Sokratis Papastathopoulos.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the Soccer Saturday regular issued a quit threat contingent on the Gunners finalising a deal.

He said: “I held my tongue when they signed Kolassiesnatch (sic). I didn’t kick up a fuss when they signed Oboomerang (sic) and McAteerian (sic).

“I even kept schtum when they brought in the young lad Konstontinos (sic) Marvelpanelos (sic).

“But they’re just taking the piss if they sign Pastapopplytoss (sic) as well. The lads will make me commentate on Arsenal every week, I know it.

“I won’t stand for being made to look like an ignoramos (sic).”