The team, Scottish, were beaten 5-1 by the USA on…oh, Scotland.
Sigh.
Head Scotland man Craig Levein said: “Never mind Kenny Dalglish, I’d take Kelly Dalglish for our side at the moment.”
He continued: “Never mind Archie Gemmill, I’d take Scott Gemmill for our side at the moment.”
He sighed: “Never mind Bobby Collins, I’d take Joan Collins for our side at the moment.”
He shrugged: “Never mind Joe Jordan, I’d take Jordan for our side at the moment.”
He wept: “Never mind Gordon McQueen, I’d take Her Majesty the Queen for our side at the moment.”
He despaired: “Never mind Tommy Burns, I’d take Mr Burns for our side at the moment.”
He blasted: “Never mind Colin Hendry, I’d take Stephen Hendry for our side at the moment.”
He confided: “Never mind Alan Hansen, I’d take the three-piece band of siblings Hanson – you know, of “MMMBop” fame – for our side at the moment.”
He declared: “Never mind Brian McFadden, I’d take James McFadden for our side at the moment.”
He added: “Wait…”