No one shocked by Newcastle defeat, thousands feared upset

Black and white army
Black and white army
Newcastle United’s FA Cup exit at the hands of Brighton and Hove Albion surprised precisely no one, according to latest figures.

The Magpies, 120, would normally have been considered favourites against the Seagulls, while their divisional superiority could arguably qualify their 2-0 reversal as a ‘shock’ or an ‘upset’.

However, Alan Pardew’s shabbily strung together outfit demonstrated in no uncertain terms at the Falmer Stadium that Newcastle are, after a season of relative achievement/hopes-building, back to their comedy best – and it has been confirmed that not a single person was shocked by the result, although many struggled with some of the hairstyles on show.

Steve, a Newcastle fan, said: “Shocked? Nay, man. I don’t think anyone’s shocked, like.

“I’m certainly very upset by it though. Is that what constitutes a cup upset? Is one stricken by cup upset as one would be by an ailment or hang over?

“Can it get me off work? That’s what I want to know. Did you see the news, what that politician said? Now that was shocking.”

Meanwhile, Pardew described the performance of striker Shola Ameobi as “terrific”.

He said: “I thought Shola was terrific.”

He added: “Eeeerrr…we was tired.”