David Moyes has reacted angrily to suggestions that he acted irresponsibly in allowing Ashley Young to play on without concussion against Real Sociedad.
The Manchester United winger, roguish, suffered a sickening collision with the ground in Tuesday night’s Champions League clash, before arousing suspicion by appearing to emerge from the incident unscathed.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Moyes hit back at the widespread condemnation of his decision not to immediately withdraw a player who may be a witch or harbour witchlike qualities.
He grumbled: “Okay, I’ve finished reading Sir Alex’s book now.
“I know what happens here. You all want me to come down hard on the player, like I did when Fellaini headbutted Shawcross last season.
“Turns out that kind of sh*te disnae win you trophies, so let it be known that I didn’t see the incident, it was the referee’s call, Ashley’s not a witch and shut up ye bawbags.
“If Ashley emerged concussionless from that horrific assault on him by the turf then I can only assume it’s all that extra training we’ve been making him do where he just stands there and Phil Neville beats him over the head with a cricket bat.
“I don’t care what Raymond Verheijen says, it toughens you up.”
He added: “Thinking on, I can see where Marouane Fellaini’s conditioning has been going wrong.
“Call Steve Round, tell him to pick up some clippers.”
Steve Round could not be contacted as he was busy filing a scouting report on Leighton Baines.