O’Neill and Keane demand €50m transfer kitty, ask why everyone’s laughing

Talks hit a snag when the FAI pointed out to O'Neill and Keane that you don't do transfers in international football.

O'Neill and Keane
Those Habib Beyes won’t sign themselves

O’Neill and Keane may sound like a law firm may sound like a comedy duo they don’t really sound like anything, ah nuts we screwed up the intro.

Er, as did they, Messrs Martin and Roy storming into their interview with the FAI and demanding a €50m transfer kitty in order to spend Republic of Ireland’s way to the next World Cup.

Talks hit a snag when the FAI pointed out to O’Neill and Keane that you don’t do transfers in international football, and even if you did could we just sort out the property market before we start lashing all our money at John Carew and Craig Gordon?


Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, O’Neill and Keane confirmed that they have no intention of entering into any managerial job that doesn’t allow them to storm around like Brian Clough making even the most straightforward conversation as tense as the average hostage negotiation.

They mild-manneredly uttered/roared borderline psychotically: “If we can’t spunk untold amounts of money on ferociously mediocre players, then what’s the point?

“I don’t know if you’ve ever tried managing Sunderland but it’s a damn sight harder than it looks.

“The trick is to banish or sign Phil Bardsley, depending on which one of us you are.

“Whose phone is that? The one going off right now. Is that your phone?

“I’ll kill you.”

There was no phone.