José Mourinho brought the house down when he showcased his new “no respect” catchphrase at a pre-match press conference ahead of Man Utd v Arsenal.

The self-styled Surly One signalled a departure from his Jack Dee phase, channelling Rodney Dangerfield as he cracked up journos with his self-deprecating zingers.

He said: “I get no respect, I tell yer.

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.

“No respect, I tell yer. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

“With my wife I don’t get no respect neither. She wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

“No respect, I tell yer.”