René Meulensteen has hit out at Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers for failing to bolster his backroom staff with an experienced coach by the name of René Meulensteen.

The Dutchman, inordinately Mancunian looking and sounding, opined that the Reds’ poor start to the season could easily have been avoided if only he’d solicited the assistance of an experienced coach by the name of René Meulensteen.

Liverpool have suffered from indifferent Premier League form and have lost their last two Champions League games, all of which can be directly attributed to Rodgers’s failure to recruit an experienced coach by the name of René Meulensteen.

That’s the opinion of an experienced coach by the name of René Meulensteen, who exclusively reminded Football Burp of how much he won as Sir Alex Ferguson’s assistant at Manchester United.

He said: “In case you can’t remember, it was lots and lots [of stuff].

“This is why I cannot help but feel that Brendan may have missed a trick by not picking up the telephone to an experienced coach by the name of René Meulensteen.

“He could at least have replied to one of the many emails, text messages and WhatsApps he was sent on my behalf.

“The ****er.”