Manchester United have announced a trigger warning to accompany news that they’ve triggered a clause in Marouane Fellaini’s contract to keep him until 2018.

The Belgian scored in the Red Devils’ 2-0 EFL Cup semi-final first leg win over Hull City, sticking it to his critics amongst the Old Trafford faithful once and for all.

Or so you’d have thought, but apparently there are still United fans who doubt the scourge of Hull.

Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, Dazza, a Manchester United fan from Manchester, kept using bad swears even after we’d asked him kindly not to.

He said: “That useless ****ing **** could make me **** out of my own **** in sheer ****ing ****ery.

“If I ever ****ing see that **** in a United ****ing shirt ever a-****ing-gain I’ll **** my own **** off in despair.

“****.”

He continued: “Has the censorship guy gone now?

“Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.”