It’s the leaked Liverpool list of banned words that’s sweeping the nation!
However, a club spokesperson has poured scorn on suggestions that it was compiled for, and distributed amongst, members of staff at Anfield.
Speaking exclusively to Football Burp, the spokesperson – male, since you ask – stopped pouring scorn for just long enough to confirm that the leaked Liverpool list of banned words was in fact drawn up for the benefit of outgoing false 9 Luis Suárez.
He said: “We’re not exactly delighted about the way Luis has stitched us up and strung us along.
“However, we’re all very grateful to him for single-handedly keeping us clear of a relegation battle last season.
“Here at Liverpool we like to think of ourselves as special – really, really special, way more special than everyone else – so we don’t forget things like that.
“That’s why we decided to club together and present him with this going away present, which we shall have framed for him and mounted in his new home.
“London folk are very sensitive about being labelled things like ‘spacker’, ‘gayer’, ‘negrito’ and ‘edible’, so we thought it only right to cobble together a comprehensive guide of words to avoid at all costs if he’s to flourish down there.
“We forgot to include ‘soft ollies’ but that should go without saying. No one wants to be called ‘soft ollies’.”
He continued: “Just to be clear, the leaked Liverpool list of banned words is not – repeat, not – for the benefit of our members of staff.
“Such ignorance in our midst was eradicated the day that Jen Chang pooped in his last letter box.
“Now, stop writing down everything I say in that silly little notebook and get yourself a proper dictaphone.”
He added: “Come on, man up!”
Mr Spokesperson has since been fired for sexual discrimination.